Why I hate Mornings

On the train, I met a woman whose sole purpose in life was to make mine miserable with her incessant head-turning-hair-slapping-on-my-face stunt.
If anyone has hair that's long and thick, for goodness sake BUNDLE IT UP or maybe shave it all. 'Cos your hair might not feel or smell as pleasurable when it hits people's faces in the crowded morning train.
And of course, stop turning your head left, right, left, right, left, right... Whatever for? Just stand still lah. Duh``

Andandand, the Hub did what I deem as an "unforgivable" act last night. LMAO.
He set his very own cousin on a date with his car mechanic, Brandon. Okay, not exactly a mechanic 'cos his da boss of FabulousX.
And Brandon insisted I be present so he can talk to me.. Wahahahahaha!! Poor boy.

Okay, I shall dispense with the "set-up-date" joke because the cousin felt awkward enough already.

Anyway, I shall continue working on my tender report for now.

Hooked

OMG! I love Wahjong. The animations are so damn cute and I so enjoy playing with nude triplets.

Lady J8de 01

Lady J8de 02

Lady J8de 03 (Wahahahaha)

Try it at http://www.viwawa.com/ and it's certainly better than.. yewww..Facebook.. yeww....

Manhunt

Freaking funny. I like the Harry Potter version.

Practical Joke

The boss walked out on the rest of the team at 6pm and especially when he constantly flaunts his artistic talents.. .. .. ..

We can't let it go easily, can we? Well, of course we cannot take it lying down.

Estatic? De-stressing?

Sometimes, she just puzzles me.. ..

Scream! Shout! Let it all out

Unconstructive meetings

Like what my Contractor's PM says..

"the construction industry is full of mad people. the architect's mad, the developer's mad, the consultants are mad.. and even my bangladeshi workers are mad.. called me at 8am in the morning screaming that he saw a tiger on site.. ..which Datuk later confirmed that it's just a cat that looked like a tiger.. Xiao ah!!"


Developer: "We request for LCD screens instead of LED inside the lifts"

Lift Contractor: "Yah can. We already submitted the cost of a 10.4" LCD with DVD functions.."

Developer: "Oh no, no, no.. we don't want DVD player.. the LCD is not for playing anything.."

Lift Contractor: "Er.. then?"

Developer: "just show the lift going up / down..??"

ALL: "Xiao ah!"

-_-"'

Little Red Riding Hood

was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"

To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a ...44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're not.You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."

She needs help

At 11.53am.. ..

'Somebody' in the midst of our mind-your-own-business session is feeling really bored..

At 12.10pm.. ..

That 'Somebody' is still as bored.. and maybe even more blah

Because... moments later she sent an email with the subject titled as "I have a secret to to tell you.."

And of course the rest of us responded with anticipation. BUT it turns out..

-_-

Now as I'm posting this, she is still grunting away plainly because nobody bothers about her being bored..

Muahahahahahahahahaha! Muahahahahahahahahahaha!!

Anyway I am bothered and that's why with this entry I'm hoping to make you realise how boh-liao you've been and well, since you are bored.

some friends i have

Fion: Remember something?
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO REMIND ME TO GO WATSONS????

Jaslin: Remember something?
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO REMIND FION TO REMIND ME TO GO WATSONS??

Anil: Remember something?
YOU WERE WITH US.. AND I'M QUITE CERTAIN THAT YOU HEARD US.. AND??

ALSO FORGOT HUH?!


How now?

singapore news from hong kong

E Lau says: wei

MISSY 玉 =Þ says: hey

E Lau says: is there a piece of news in Shenton Way?

E Lau says: funny news

MISSY 玉 =Þ says: Shenton Way?

MISSY 玉 =Þ says: Why?

E Lau says: http://eastcoastlife.blogspot.com/2007/05/ouuuch-my-dick-got-caught-in-zipper.html

MISSY 玉 =Þ says: What the!!!!

MISSY 玉 =Þ says: Wahahahaha.. where the hell you got that from huh?

E Lau says: funny leh

E Lau says: old news?

MISSY 玉 =Þ says: i've not heard of that incident before this leh..

lamest pick-up line

"erm.. excuse me, I think you look very familiar. Have I seen you before?"

"I don't think so.."

"then can I be friends with you?"

"I don't think so.."

"why not? Just friends, can lah"

"nah 'cos my husband might slaughter you"

"Wah, so fierce ah? Then it's ok"

(Raise eyebrow & thought) so it's alright to wallop you?!

I don't understand

Why people ask stupid questions? Well sometimes I do that too, despite a very angry protest from the part of my brain that still remembers logic, which will doubly infuriate me.

And there they were, shooting weirdass questions one after another until Terence had to reply with:

While we appreciate queries from the staff, please DO NOT send emails to ALL Staff!!!

They're really annoying. But I like it, for at least their senselessness keeps me very entertained.

dolphin jumping cow

If the majority of people in a group agree on any given subject, they are obviously right.. right? Let's see if you agree.

The picture below has 2 identical dolphins in it. It was used as a case study on stress level at St. Mary's Hospital. Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study of a group revealed that in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical, a person under stress will be able to find difference in the two dolphins!
If there are many diferences, it simply means that the person is under immense pressure.

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Any difference? So, all of us are convincing Sobi that there are 2 dolphins while he insists, after looking (left, right, center) and he's still staring at a cow. Holy. He is SUPER stress can.

Of course, sometimes, the majority isn't always right.

disorder

Out of the past 12 hours that I'm alive I spent 99% of the time hallucinating.

A few days back, an email came from the management stating that they'll be organising a trip to Kuala Lumpur in September.

So Fion & Dan are going but the rest of us are not.

I suppose it's like the typical Singaporean's Free-Why-Not shit, because I have no idea what is the exact problem with us not going, but the duo began their preaching with one sole objective; that is, to make all of us sign up for the getaway whether we like it or not.

So, they started spamming our inboxes at every 20 minutes intervals and I've decided to take revenge by bullying her in the drawing below.

Wahahahaha!! I am so happy to exterminate her.. and so mature.

lost art of prank calls

Ok, at some point of my life especially during the adolescent years, I made prank calls with one objective in mind which is, to irritate the hell out of my friends.

In this entry, I want to give the person who made the call some credit for trying to bring back the lost art of prank calls, but it was really lame. I think at some point I will do a "How to" on prank calls, but for now let's take an analytical look at this one. Hopefully the person who called will read this and can use this as a learning experience. Here's the exact message that was left.


Hello.. Hello.. Hello
Toilet? Hello? Bye!


On a scale of 1 - 10, I give this prank call a 2. Let me break this down for you, my derailed friend.

First of all your prank call lacks several key elements. The 3 C's of prank calls are Creativity, Confidence and Courage. I'm sorry but this call lacks all 3.

The body of this call was not very creative, I mean, calling for toilet break? C'mon, with a little more effort I'm sure you could have thought of something better.

As for confidence, the caller's voice sounded rather jittery and giggly, a dead giveaway that the caller was no pro.

And the final nail in the coffin was that the caller totally lacked courage. A good prank call takes balls and this person called at 3.26am, a time he knew that the ''intended/randomly-selected'' recipient would be asleep thus can't react on time. The number showed up as private, but I won't take off points for that, blocking your own number is standard.

And should you have been a little careless and left your number unblocked, YOU WILL DIE.. SO BAD. I'll ensure that your number be seen at every corner of every public toilet.

Popeye's Mother

They found her..

POPEYE'S MOTHER

Crazy Karaoke

The most hilarious Korean duo alive!
I watched it several times yet I simply couldn't stop laughing.

What the hell are they made of?!

Gawd..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1M7CGBu_OTY&mode=related&search=

I'm just too lazy to upload the clip onto my blog 'cos it'll take damn long.

Mahjong is GREAT

Mahjong King of Davis Langdon and Seah.

Plan

Elevation 1

Elevation 2

In case you can't make out what's written on it, it says:

" DAVIS EVERY AND SEAH (HK) LTD

41ST ANNUAL DINNER 1990

MAHJONG COMPETITION

-=CHAMPION=- ''

Don't ask me why was the company called Davis Every & Seah 'cos I have no idea as well. That was in 1990 and probably Langdon wasn't involved yet.

Qns: Guess who's the Champion?
A. Steven Wong

B. Eric Pau

C. Sunny Li

Have fun guessing...

Angry

Another bitter Singaporean, I suppose.

Need I explain further? - Anyway, it wasn't done by me.

But I have a question though, can I still use this five dollar?

I won't be charged for defacing our local currency right?